In a move recently that is emblematic of the insane times we live in, Twitter, Tesla, and Space X owner and billionaire Elon Musk challenged Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg to a cage fight, and of course, Zuckerberg accepted, because why not? Now, Elon Musk just added a legend to his corner of the octagon. (Do they have corners?).
Musk admittedly doesn’t exercise regularly, so in response, UFC legend and Hall of Famer Georges St-Pierre has publicly offered to train Musk for the titanic battle, and the Twitter head apparently has accepted. Zuckerberg started training in several martial arts in 2020 and has even competed, winning various medals and impressing such luminaries as Conor McGregor with his fighting ability.
With this in mind and both men seemingly serious, St-Pierre Tweeted to Musk: “I’m a huge fan of yours and it would be an absolute honor to help you and be your training partner for the challenge against Zuckerberg.”
St-Pierre has held belts in two different weight classes, so he should be able to help Musk in terms of how to deal with a smaller, faster opponent. Even though Elon has the size advantage at 6’1, 187 versus Zuck’s smaller frame of 5’7, 154, speed and elusiveness can be hard to deal with in the octagon, and Musk will need to be well-trained to handle a smaller, lighter opponent. Especially one as wily. Both men have IQs well into the 150s.
Musk, who claims to have previously trained in “judo, Kyokushin (full contact) & no rules streetfighting,” also has an uphill climb due to his age. Elon is 51, while Zuck is a spry 39, and though that doesn’t seem like a huge difference, who has tried to work out hard over 50?
It is a grind to stay healthy and in shape at any age, but essentially starting from scratch at 51 is insanely hard. Forget the weight to fuel issues facing interstellar space travel, not suffering a soft tissue injury might be Musk’s greatest challenge.
The curiosity factor could drive the pay-per-view numbers higher than anything Space X has sent up. UFC boss Dana White is essentially foaming at the mouth to get his hands on the match: “This would be the biggest fight ever in the history of the world. Bigger than anything that’s ever been done. It would break all pay-per-view records. These guys would raise hundreds of millions of dollars for charity. You don’t have to be a fighting fan to be interested in this fight. Everybody would want to see it.”
It is hard to disagree with White’s inflated assessment. Seemingly everyone has an opinion on Musk and Zuck. Love them or hate them; they are the two biggest names in social media and the two biggest competitors in an insanely competitive space.
Many have joked that the two should fight for “pink slips,” meaning the loser cedes ownership of his platform to the other. While the stakes sadly won’t be that high, literally millions could be raised for charity, as White continues: “The biggest fight of all time was Floyd Mayweather and Conor [McGregor], I just think it triples that. I think it triples what that did. There’s no limit on what that thing can make. … Everybody would watch it, everybody would want to see it.”
What started out as (friendly?) banter between two eccentric billionaires now stands on the precipice of breaking every box office record known to man in terms of sports entertainment. Some may not call it “sports,” and some may not even find it entertaining, but the morbid curiosity of watching Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg slap-fight in a cage will absolutely give us at least a brief distraction from the decay going on outside our windows. That’s a scenario where we all win.